


Sackman

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Childhood Trauma, M/M, Murder, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-01 07:36:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17863100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Most children are visited by the Sandman, who brings them good dreams and an easy sleep. Levi has a different kind of monster lurking in the shadows of his mind, dusting the corners of his eyes. How long can Eren fend off his demons? Can Levi really be saved?





	1. Routine

Dirt filled his mouth. It was all he could see. He smelled, felt, tasted it. All over him, damp with old, rusty rain. His lungs filled with it.

The collar around his throat tightened and he was yanked above the thin layer of sod. He couldn't even properly gasp. Dirty nails clawed at his neck. Gritty teeth clenched and little pieces of earth popped between his molars.

The Sackman loomed over him, head of burlap tilted. Large, meaty hands clutched his leash and tugged him to his weak, bare feet; greyed and smeared with thick, drying mud. It cracked around him and crumbled, taking his skin with the flakes of clay. He screamed, but no sound came from his messy lips.  
The dirt, even wet, felt sandy as it caked his tongue.

His knees slipped and knocked together as he trudged behind Sackman, who opened the door, showing Levi the mess he was being punished for leaving. Something dark and half dried slid from the cabinets and pooled on the floor in a black, puke-like puddle. Looking down at his own body, he realized some of the mud was red. Smearing his naked chest, thighs, and cock was a putrid mixture of blood and soil. He was wrong. It hadn't rained.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sweat crept up his back and matted his hair to the pillow. Levi heaved himself upright and watched clean sheets tumble off his torso. Clean pajamas, bedding, and room.

He slowly lowers his socked feet to the floor, the cold of the hardwood shocking, but welcome through the damp cotton. It wakes him a bit, disperses the haze of the nightmare. He lives here. He works here. He cleaned just yesterday morning, and he will again this morning. No one's died in this house since well before he bought it. He sighs as he sees the kitchen, white tile and stainless steel appliances all spotless.

The bathroom door opens and his neck hurts from his head turning so fast. His back feels so stiff. But, the man in the doorway doesn't have a burlap sack over his head. His breathing doesn't slow or deepen as his wide eyes lock with bleary, sleepy green ones. Eren yawns, his tan lips falling open wide silently.

"Le'? What're you doin' out'a bed...?" Before Levi can reply, Eren seems to realize his shaken state. "Hey, you're okay. Was it that dream again?" He doesn't have to nod for Eren to slowly move closer, to carefully put his strong arms around the filling frame.

Eren remembers when Levi was just a ghost of a man, wandering aimlessly about the store he worked at. He'd had no idea what he was getting into when he offered the man a ride home. Now he lives with Levi, almost three years later, and the two live off of Levi's books. Eren still doesn't know how he feels about the world reading his life story like some piece of fiction. At least Levi doesn't care what people think, not that he gets a lot of criticism on his works.

As Levi's chest stops heaving, and his heart quiets in his ears, Eren pulls away. Smothering him would throw him into another panic. "You're home. You're safe."

Eren's become an anchor for Levi's reality. With a sigh, he turns to the sink, kneeling to pull out his cleaning supplies. The brunette stays out of his way for the few hours it takes for him to be satisfied. He listens to a pen scratch out what they need Eren to fetch from the store and waits patiently for Levi to sit beside him with his laptop and start working. It's only when noon comes that the relative silence of the household finally breaks.

The mornings are Levi's, and he needs those hours of quiet after the night. But, once their day starts, it's Eren's time. They go out with Eren's friends, who slowly became his friends, or have a date at home. They talk about nothing and everything, go nowhere and everywhere. It's both routine, and it's not. Eren says it's healthy, and Levi can't argue. He thinks he's much happier than he's ever been, and that's all he needs to know.

Some days, there's not time for their regimen. There's doctor's appointments, therapy sessions, and deadlines. Sometimes, Levi just needs a day of locking himself in the bathroom to scrub his skin raw while Eren promises to vacuum and bleach the kitchen.

Eren knows his worst days usually follow these nightmares about "Sackman." He doesn't think Levi realizes that the name sounds like a childhood monster in the closet. The book full of Sackman is anything but a kid's story, however. It worries him, when Levi's eyes go wide and his voice breaks in a high, almost innocently frightened pitch. It's as if he reverts back to that scrawny eight year old. The news article hadn't been able to explain the orphaned child's state when the suspect, a man with an old potato sack over his head, was arrested. Levi says he'd only been alone with the man for maybe a few hours, but it felt like weeks before he saw the polices' flashing lights.

Levi always writes what he'd dreamed of. No dream is the same as the last. No dream keeps true to the actual event. He thinks they're pieces to a puzzle, slowly falling into place to reveal something to him. He's obsessed, but Eren keeps him from destroying himself. Eren reminds him to eat, to take his medication, to go outside. He's taught Levi to live again. 

Or, is he just a bandage over a festering wound?


	2. Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUHC9tYz8ik  
> Billie Eilish was playing the entire time I wrote this.

He’s forced to the ground, gravel cutting his cheek, arm, and hip as he squirms, screaming even when no sound leaves his mouth. The only thing in his ears is a loud ringing. His eyes refuse to open and in the warping, fleshy blackness there’s a waspish whisper of fabric being moved. Something scratchy touches his ear moments before the edge of the sack cinches around his neck, stealing his breath. 

No, he thinks, this can’t be happening! He kicks, bucks, and tries biting anything in front of him. The sack shifts and cuts into his skin as it tightens. Sackman forces the tense, rough edge back and forth, sawing a burn across his neck, pressing harder and faster until he’s stained the cloth with blood. 

Levi’s hands flail blindly until he slaps large, damp arms, hitting them as his chest shakes with panic. He can feel hot tears sliding from his cheeks, but hears no cry. The only sound is Sackman’s breath, smelling too much of iron. Levi’s jaw falls wide as he begins to convulse, no air entering his lungs, his throat tearing against the burlap. 

When he’s finally allowed to see, Sackman lifts the bag, glaring down at him. He looms over him, naked, slick with blood, his eyes the color of…  
________________________________________________________________

Levi gasps up a the ceiling, emerald orbs staring down at his pale, sweaty face. Panting, he fights himself and the sheets into a pile on the floor, his head stinging from hitting the hard wood. “No!” 

“Levi! Levi, wait-” Eren tries to reach over the edge of the mattress to untangle Levi’s trembling form. “You’re okay. You’re home, with me.” The wheeze coming from Levi’s lips worries him. It’s been a week since the last nightmare that hit him this hard. 

All of his attempts to touch Levi are slapped away with shaking, wet palms. He’s soaked in sweat and flushing all the way up his neck from hyperventilating. This is worse than the last dream, and Eren can only watch as Levi runs down the hall to lock himself in the bathroom, stumbling over his own feet. 

He contemplates calling off their lunch with Armin, but only sighs and lays back down, his arm thrown over his eyes. Levi might come out wanting to leave the house, and he’d blame himself for ruining their plans unnecessarily. That wouldn’t help his mood. 

It’s almost three hours later when Levi leaves the bathroom, red and wrapped in a robe. He still steams from the hot water and Eren watches him shuffle into the kitchen and follows to see him simply staring at the gravel driveway. He looks like he’s seen a ghost and Eren maneuvers around him to stand in front of the stove, pulling down a skillet for their breakfast. He doubts Levi will be writing anything this morning until the man slips away for his laptop, just as their scrambled eggs are done cooking, leaving all of them to Eren. With a sigh, the brunette resolves himself to eating both of their breakfasts while he waits again for Levi. 

They should talk. He should eat. In two hours they’ll need to be ready to leave, and Levi is still busying himself with noisily typing in the living room next to Eren on the couch. He doesn’t know how to interrupt, and doesn’t particularly want to. Levi finds it therapeutic, putting his vivid nightmares into harmless words; simple, black letters on a white page. No color or actual images. 

It isn’t good for them to be inside all day, isn’t good for Levi’s psyche while he’s upset, but Eren doesn’t like pushing him too far out of his comfort zone. A little nudge is needed often for Levi to keep himself healthy, but Eren isn’t a professional and he doesn’t know where the line lays between being needed and being damaging. He does what he can, and he always worries it’s not enough when Levi doesn’t seem to get better, when the nightmares become too painful for him to speak or meet Eren’s eyes. 

His phone rings and Levi nearly jumps out of his skin. Wincing, Eren quickly silences it by answering and hurrying out of the room while Levi catches his breath. Armin’s voice is soft with concern when he hisses a greeting. 

“Sorry. Am I bothering you?” Eren mentally curses himself for being unable to do a small thing like answering the phone normally. He needs to get a grip. 

Shaking his head, he replies, “No, Armin. I’m sorry. It’s just been a rough morning.” Before he’s even finished, Armin is sighing. He doesn’t know how to interpret that. 

“Levi had a nightmare, again? Are you two staying home? You know, these are getting more frequent. Maybe being in that house all cooped up is doing more harm than good.” He couldn’t agree more, but Levi was an adult. He could make the choice to lock himself away, and Eren could only implore and try to reason with him. There was no forcing Levi to do anything he really didn’t want to. 

“Yeah, I know. But, maybe it’s alright, just for today? He’s barely looked up from his laptop screen. I think he needs the day to himself.” Another breath from the other end of the line, and Eren worries that he’s been annoying; but, he remembers Armin’s patient enough to have been his best friend since elementary school. The sigh isn’t out of frustration, but one of contemplation. He hates talking over the phone and having to decipher every sound without being able to see the other’s face, it makes him anxious. 

“I have an idea.” Eren gives a puff of relief. Armin always knows what to do. “Instead of having him leave the house for lunch, I could come over? Another friendly face could be what he needs.” It’s simple, but Eren wouldn’t have ever thought to suggest it. Only their closest friends have seen Levi in his more vulnerable states, and it never got easier to watch for any of them. 

“Alright. See you in thirty.” He hangs up when they’ve said goodbye and hesitantly leaves the bedroom to glance at Levi. “Hey… How are you feeling?” 

“I’m not a child you have to babysit, Eren.” Levi didn’t bother looking up to speak to him, and Eren feels a pang of longing to see his eyes. 

“Well, Armin’s coming over for lunch. Just thought I’d give you a heads-up.” The soundless nod he gets in response makes his lips purse. Maybe it’s not fair to be irritated by his behavior right now, but he wishes Levi would trust him more after all these years spent together. “Fine.” His feet sound heavier as he leaves to sit at the dining room table instead of his usual spot to Levi’s right. It’s petty, and he doesn’t care. 

Not a glance passes between them until Armin knocks on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too excited to wait a week. Stay tuned, folks.  
> Going more in-depth on our new faces in the next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm horrible at writing. Enjoy this shitty, self indulgent crap. Tell me if you're interested in more, please.


End file.
